Dear Superwoman Society by Dayeshell Muhammad

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Dear Superwoman Society,

I am writing to you on behalf of nineteen women whom I personally know and have recently made members of the Superwoman Society. All of these women have lost a spouse, parent or child; resulting in an incomplete heart.

You see, usually, people write on behalf of women like myself who are living overwhelming lives full of responsibilities, insecurities, dreams, and aspiration. And even though our lives are also filled with periods of depression, anxiety, frustration, anger, and loneliness, what it is not, is empty from the loss of a loved one. Unlike these nineteen women, me and all the other over-driven women who have chosen the life of chaos, late nights and extra-long to-do-list, can make changes and adjustments to improve our overly demanding worlds. But there are no changes or adjustments that these women can make to change the fact that their lives may always be filled with periods of depression, anxiety, frustration, anger, and loneliness. The loss of security, love, companionship, parental guidance and the joy of seeing their young ones grow, prosper and mature into successful individuals is permanently life-altering.

A superficial woman who possesses superhuman powers is not what describes these women. A real woman who, even though her most difficult time, possess the power to set aside her pain so that she can continue being a wife, mother, daughter, grandmother, student, and employee, is a Superwoman. The strength one develops in order to continue with life in the absences of a spouse, parent or child, can only be described as a superhero power.

This letter takes nothing away from women like myself who juggles the responsibilities of being saviors and supporters, but it’s to acknowledge that, contrary to what society will make us believe, every Superwoman doesn’t have to be an “executive mom”.

So, I ask you to bless these women with the ability to take time for themselves to heal. Give them moments in their lives where they are free to laugh, cry, reminisce and miss. Provide them with the techniques to bring balance to their mental, emotional and physical health. Help their surviving friends, family and loved ones understand the pain they embody, as, without this understanding, unrealistic expectations of them can create further damage. Guide these woman down the path that leads them to peace, joy, happiness and new love. I ask you not to allow them to forget the good times, but remind them that denial, pain, guilt, anger, bargaining, depression and loneliness are all a part of the grieving process; but so are acceptance and hope.

On behalf of Robin Redick-Gay, Barbara Wilson, Brenda Redick, Karen Redick, April Redick, Sahirah Muhammad, Jamilah Muhammad, Ayesha Muhammad, Jaime Alaimo-Muhammad, Crystal McCoy, LaKeisha Sala, Sharisse Fuller, Yolanda Allen, Sasha Allen, LaRita Brown, Denise Parkman, Angela Bermudez-Millan, Keisha Beckford and K.H., I ask that you love them and constantly remind these woman that it’s okay to cry and be vulnerable. After all, there are days when even a superhero takes off their cape.

Sincerely,
Superwoman Society Member #4581