LaVar Ball Celebrates His Sperm with $495 Sneakers So What By Rippa

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LaVar Ball has three sons that are basketball phenoms. From the looks of it, we haven’t seen this type of talent since LeBron James stepped on the scene in high school. It’s one thing to be lucky enough for one of your children to have the potential to earn millions as a professional athlete. However, it’s a whole different story when three separate orgasms produce three different children with basketball talent that makes LeBron’s father’s one lucky ejaculation look like nothing. Seriously, if I could have three sons who for all intents and purposes are future NBA Hall of Famers like LaVar Ball, I’d talk a lot of shit about them too.

Hell, I might even sell my sperm at this point if I was him.

But instead, LaVar Ball is smart enough to establish a brand to help secure the financial future of his family. Because, why not? I mean, it’s not like anyone ever wins the Power Ball three times in a row, right? So yes, as a father, I’m happy for LaVar Ball.

So much so that I support his right to say the most absurd shit every day if he chooses.

We All Can’t Be LaVar Ball

When I see the headlines of stories about black kids being accepted at multiple ivy league schools, I think of LaVar Ball. His crazy statements aside, those headlines make me think of the immeasurable sense of pride the parents of those children must feel.

It’s too bad that the parents of athletes are deemed more important than the parents of the black kids accepted at various ivy league schools. Nobody in media wants to interview the parents of these kids to understand just what the journey was like. Nobody thinks it’s important to have them give voice to what it is to be a parent who worked hard and made sacrifices, to keep their kid on the straight and narrow as they excelled academically.

To me, there’s something tragic about this. Yes, very tragic. So, when you hear me one day in the news singing the praises of my daughters. When you hear about the crazy black guy who lives in Memphis, Tennessee, if I’m still here, who said that his kid(s) will be bigger than Albert Einstein ever was. Just know that it was me, the crazy-ass bombastic in-your-face black dude you know from the internet who said it. Because it will happen.

How do I know? Because, like Lavar Ball, I believe in my kids. And so far, I think my wife and I have provided a good enough foundation for them. We have one still at the University of Louisville, and another on her way to Boston University on a full academic scholarship to complete her Masters. So, let’s just say that we expect nothing less from our 10-year-old and 8-year-old, who are both in gifted programs at their elementary school.

LaVar Ball Celebrates His Sperm, So What?

“Build your own brand,” is a common theme pushed in digital marketing spaces lately.

“Black people need to be entrepreneurs and start businesses instead of working for the white man,” has long been a message from the pulpits of blackness all across America.

LaVar Ball”s Big Baller Brand has revealed that his son Lonzo Ball’s signature basketball shoe will cost $425. Naturally, a lot of my brother and sister folks are like, “Nigga, please! Are you crazy?!! We ain’t finna pay that kinda money fo’ no basketball shoe. You out yo’ mind?”

To be fair, Lonzo Ball has yet to play at least a nano-second of basketball in the NBA. So naturally, commanding that price for a pair of basketball shoes sounds

absolutely ridiculous. Nevermind the fact that there’s a strong chance of him being a top NBA draft prospect this year. None of that matters because he hasn’t proven anything; and, well, his father is crazy.

But here’s the thing: there are people who weren’t alive when Michael Jordan played in the NBA that are willing to pay $300 for Jordan’s shoe, which is marketed and sold by Nike.

LaVar Ball Challenges The Status Quo

Am I saying that Lonzo Ball is the next Michael Jordan? I’m not. However, what I am saying, is that I’m sure at one point back in the day somebody said that there’d never be another Julius “Dr. J” Ervin. Likewise, before him, there was never supposed to be another Bill Russell, Wilt Chamberlain, or Kareen Abdul-Jabbar. If anyone said that back then, it was something Shaquille O’Neal, Tim Duncan, or even Akeem Olajuwon ever heard.

So, again, just to be clear, I’m not suggesting that Lonzo Ball will be the next Michael Jordan like LaVar Ball says. For all I know, like Steph Curry, Lonzo Ball might turn out to be a future NBA champion and MVP with a shoe that Under Armor couldn’t give away to homeless people and starving kids in Africa.

So yeah, there’s that.

Young kids today are being racially profiled and detained after buying belts for $300. Thanks to your favorite rapper, they’re even buying jeans that cost $700. Hell, they’re even buying jeans adorned and pre-treated with fake mud for $400.

Sounds crazy, but it’s true.

But But But… Black Businesses!

Thing is, none of these items are being sold by a black-owned company. With that in mind, all the major athletic apparel and shoe companies like Nike, Adidas, and Reebok shittin’ on LaVar Ball’s Big Baller Brand, like they recently did, makes sense. I could be wrong, but if they didn’t feel threatened by Big Baller Brand, they wouldn’t have had to say anything.

But hey, let’s keep suggesting that black people should support our own. Or better yet, that black people should be hell bent on keeping our money in our communities. After all, what better place could there be for the annual stampede to purchase whatever new Jordans Nike releases, than a mom and pops store in the hood, and not where the white folks sell them.

Say what you want about LaVar Ball, his Big Baller Brand, or the ridiculous price of Lonzo Balls signature basketball shoe. However, at least he’s not out here selling t-shirts with the Confederate Flag on them for $150 while crying about a shoe contract and selling the fledgling Yeezy’s brand like Kanye West has in recent years.