The best expression of love, especially for a single black woman, is her ability to get in tune with, and unconditionally love herself. As the new year has come, so has the spirit of renewal. Many people have decided to get themselves on a healthy living regimen with diet and exercise. Others have decided to travel or fearlessly pursue that career they’ve always wanted. And if you’re like me, you’ve noticed that others have chosen to settle down with their significant other, get married and start a family.

It is more than okay to feel both happy for them and absolutely sad because it is something you deeply desire and have yet to experience. It is natural for women to want children and a life partner to raise them with. It is also perfectly natural for a woman to not desire to have children and just a loving partner to share the rest of their lives with. We are created to love; to give it and receive it.

I find myself at times, scrolling through my social media timelines, smiling at engagement pictures and baby gender reveal photos. I truly become so happy to see other people happy. But as the dust settles and that moment of euphoria fades away, a sudden grievance comes over me at the reality that I in fact want those things, but do not have them right now. And if I let those sentiments linger long enough, I sometimes begin to experience self- criticism and insecurity. It is at that very moment that I activate GRATITUDE.

The fact of the matter is just like the cliché’ describes: “A delay is not a denial.” Just because you may not have it now, does not mean you will never have it. Be satisfied with what you already have. Being in love and confident with who you already are and who you are evolving into is one of the keys to attracting what you desire to have in the future. And who knows? Your desired future may very well begin tomorrow!

Queen, take time to love yourself. Allot the time to do whatever it is that makes you feel beautiful. Reflect on moments that have made you break out into bellowing laughter and create new reasons to smile. Look in the mirror and recite affirmations to yourself. Yes, you are that SPECIAL. You are magical. You aren’t exactly where you want to be in your life right now, but you are further along than you used to be.

When you begin to love your entire self, you then begin to attract things into your world that reflect all of the love and growth you consistently embody. Activate that law of attraction! The magic is already inside of you. And during this time be very certain that the best black love out there is your ability to trust, adore and love your beautiful black SELF!

 Today, I feel alive.

The wind blows, and the snowflakes lightly fall. I feel quiet. I feel in touch with everything. Soft music plays. Snow plows roll through the neighbor’s yard. I feel at peace. My body responds to every sense. I hear. I see. I feel. I smell. I taste, life.

I dressed myself this morning. I took of my clothes and was naked. I felt beautiful. I looked at every imperfection. Every wrinkle, stretchmark and sag and fell in love with it. I fixed my hair; thick, dark brown trusses. Neither nappy or straight. I combed them, and they laid just how I wanted them to. I fell in love again. I put on my lipstick and mascara. I dressed myself in black and white. It felt just right. I looked at the finished product and smiled. It feels good to be me today. I am in the moment. It feels right. It feels good. It feels lovely. It feels pure.

Today, I feel alive.