By Marie Deveaux
I have always been a black woman
There is no beginning and no end
It has always been me
She has always been me..
In the blackness
In the woman-ness
Standing tall and often alone But not alone
Always surrounded by and looking up to all others.
The white men
The white women
The gay men
The black men.
All the black men
Stacked on top of my shoulders
Struggling like me
But not like me
Stretching, reaching up, and pushing down all at once
Not remembering my shoulders when their faces finally feel the sun
Asking why my shoulders are bruised
Why my back is broken, My breath short, My eyes weary
And ain’t I a woman?
I smile to myself
I cry to myself
I hold myself dear
Because sometimes the only person a black woman can turn to is the black woman
And Maxine reclaims our space
And Luvvie says stand up
And Ava pushes our faces under their gaze
And with our beaten bodies and abandoned dreams we collect each other.
Whispering affirmations
Absorbing the tears
Remembering that this world that has us on the bottom is only there off the strength of our bodies
Light of Our souls
Depth of Our love
And my heart breaks ever so slowly and melts into the earth below
