By Anya Belladonna
My ID says male, but I look like a… “transformer!” That’s what the employee at the bodega first called me when he seen the doll for the first time. I’ve been dressing in women’s clothing for about 12 years. My first time stepping out of the house was Halloween night when I was 20 yrs old.
I put on a pair of 6-inch platform heels I had ordered online and hid them under my bed. I’m naturally 6 feet 1 inch with dark skin. I had long blond hair hanging down my back. If you wanna get technical, I’m a boy in a dress, but my dress is pretty. Some people may call me a cross dresser, but I refer to myself as Anya.
“Are you a Police Officer or affiliated with any forms of Law Enforcement?”
He replied, “No, baby girl, I’m not a cop.”
It was 2016, I could not find a job anywhere. My resume was impressive, but I didn’t have much experience. I got called in for interviews, but knew It would be the last time I step foot back in a lot of those places. The law protects us against discrimination, as long as the employer doesn’t say anything. They legally have not done anything wrong. The shock in their faces was enough to show me I wasn’t going to get the position.
I had no money, no man, and no job. One night I was sitting in my living room, eating a can of cranberry sauce that was in my cupboard from Thanksgiving the year before. My electricity shuts off! I tiptoed over to the light switch and knew then I had to figure out a way to pay these bills. I’m gonna have to find a sugar daddy, so I picked up my cell and searched the web.
I stumbled across the personal section on a very popular website. It took me a while to figure things out because if you did not live that lifestyle, then you would have been confused too. Okay, so all I have to do is give a massage and a man is going to give me a donation! I put on some makeup, slid into a tight dress, took some glamour photos, and posted my first ad. My phone never rang!
Three a.m. in the morning and I’m woken up out of a deep sleep. “Hello, this is T.S. Paige,” I answered the phone to the sound of a heavy breathing voice. “What you got on girl?,” he says, as I sit there listening to him pleasure himself. “Umm…I only give massages!” I screamed.
He replied, “What’s your donation, mami?”
“Its all about the Benjamin’s Baby, but wait… You do realize your donation is for my time only, right?”
I have plenty of exciting stories, but one in particular to this day creeps me out. A guy is lying on the massage table and I’m rubbing him down, with some cheap dollar store baby oil.
He asks me, “Have you ever cracked a guys scalp?” I say, “NO!” He says pull my hair as hard as you can as you can and you will hear my scalp pop. I gave him what he asked for, but realized then, I gotta get as far away from this world as I can! That world isn’t for me. I was scared out of my mind the whole time. I’m too feminine for jail – do you know what those men would do to me?!?
Anya Belladonna is a performer who has been featured at clubs throughout the region.
